Any Budding Pratchetts Out There???
- Thread starter Tonyblack
- Start date
Aren't you afraid of getting lost in time? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KuFOoYlqMKw Not in this sense, of course, but I just thought about this...
Jan Van Quirm said:
Aside from the inane crap/inspiration/motivation factors anyone who does instant messaging, forums, blogs or networking can easily do 1000 words per day (you can get nearly 800+ words with double spacing on about 2 sides of A4). 80 days time and you're on the min word count. 125 days (just over 4 months) and you'd have something the size of a decent novel well before the deadline 
J-I-B
Whether you could actually sit down and read it depends on your own ability and the reader's tolerance for hastily scrawled trash...
[/quote]
Here are the first 200 words. Only 79,800 to go. 
Chapter 1
Captain Poohcarrot woke up, and immediately wished he hadn't. His mouth tasted like the bottom of a baby's pram and there was an Irish line dance group armed with vuvuzelas performing in head. He struggled out of bed, made it to the bathroom and risked a glance in the mirror. Not a pretty sight! His once boyish good looks, now but a faded memory. He always claimed the crow's feet round his eyes were in fact laugh lines, but it was getting harder and harder every passing day to justify this claim, because nothing in the universe was that funny. This morning he felt the 173 years of age his birth certificate proclaimed.
Pressing the auto-shave/face massage button, he let the robotic arms soothingly get on with their job, while a touch of the mirror brought up the appartment's mail function. He toyed with the idea of buying a fake Rolex, increasing his manhood and getting hold of some cheap Canadian meds,* until his eyes settled on a message from SW, the enigmatic World President's bionic secretary.
*300 years previously all disease had been eradicated, but a spam-bot programmed in the early 21st century was still optimistically touting it's wares
Chapter 1
Captain Poohcarrot woke up, and immediately wished he hadn't. His mouth tasted like the bottom of a baby's pram and there was an Irish line dance group armed with vuvuzelas performing in head. He struggled out of bed, made it to the bathroom and risked a glance in the mirror. Not a pretty sight! His once boyish good looks, now but a faded memory. He always claimed the crow's feet round his eyes were in fact laugh lines, but it was getting harder and harder every passing day to justify this claim, because nothing in the universe was that funny. This morning he felt the 173 years of age his birth certificate proclaimed.
Pressing the auto-shave/face massage button, he let the robotic arms soothingly get on with their job, while a touch of the mirror brought up the appartment's mail function. He toyed with the idea of buying a fake Rolex, increasing his manhood and getting hold of some cheap Canadian meds,* until his eyes settled on a message from SW, the enigmatic World President's bionic secretary.
*300 years previously all disease had been eradicated, but a spam-bot programmed in the early 21st century was still optimistically touting it's wares
raisindot said:
Jan Van Quirm said:
Aside from the inane crap/inspiration/motivation factors anyone who does instant messaging, forums, blogs or networking can easily do 1000 words per day (you can get nearly 800+ words with double spacing on about 2 sides of A4). 80 days time and you're on the min word count. 125 days (just over 4 months) and you'd have something the size of a decent novel well before the deadline***
J-I-B
As it should have appeared presumably...
Whether you could actually sit down and read it depends on your own ability and the reader's tolerance for hastily scrawled trash...
You know Jeff, I decided that it's a toss-up on whether I dislike people who have been a member of a forum for some considerable length of time and still haven't mastered the quote tags - more than - someone who thinks nobody will notice that he deliberately cocked up his quoting so he could do it out of context...
Exactly how good is this safety deposit box BTW? And is it magnet-proof? Keep it up pooh - you might need to reply to one of those emails though
The amazing adventures of Captain Poohcarrot.
cont...
He touched SW's message, and the mirror monitor displayed her sultry and smouldering image, then her sweet dulcet tone filled the bathroom,
"Oh for John's sake!* Carrot, you look like shit!"
"Hi, SW. Yeah, yeah, I know. I did have a couple too many last night."
"Well, Tony wants to see your sorry ass in his office pretty damn sharpish, so make like a hockey player and get the puck out of there."
"I'll be with you in an hour, SW"
"You'd better be, Carrot."
Poohcarrot switched back to mirror function, inspected his freshly shaved face, then stripped and stepped into the micro wave shower. After a 30 second blast of decontaminating, rose-scented waves, he slipped into his one piece black uniform and went downstairs to face Dot-C.
Dot-C was his pleasuretron. A fully functioning, lifelike female robot, tailor-made to his specific requirements, with cascading blond hair, breasts like watermelons and a 25 bit pixel outer skin that continually showed a kaleidoscope of day-glo primary colours. The only problem was she had been malfunctioning recently.
"Morning Dot-C"
"And what time did you get on last night?"
"No idea! I don't even remember how I got home."
"Well, it's simply not good enough, you know. And where did you go? Who were you with? If you were with another woman I'll chop your knob off."
"Dot-C, sweetheart, I..."
"Don't you sweetheart me, you louse!"
"Look! I was drinking with a couple of other Time Cops, Captain Sjoerd and Captain Wee Dug, if you must know, but frankly it's absolutely none of your business."
"You shouldn't hang out with those loses. They're bad news."
"I'll hang out with whoever I want, thank you very much."
"Don't you take that tone with me!"
"Oh sod this! I'm off to work."
"And what time will you be back? You'd better not be late again or you'll get no sex for a month."
*John Lennon wrote a book in the year 2012, that was such a masterpiece that it spawned a religion. The religion was so popular that belief in all religions slowly dwindled until eventually there was only one world religion - Lennonism,
cont...
He touched SW's message, and the mirror monitor displayed her sultry and smouldering image, then her sweet dulcet tone filled the bathroom,
"Oh for John's sake!* Carrot, you look like shit!"
"Hi, SW. Yeah, yeah, I know. I did have a couple too many last night."
"Well, Tony wants to see your sorry ass in his office pretty damn sharpish, so make like a hockey player and get the puck out of there."
"I'll be with you in an hour, SW"
"You'd better be, Carrot."
Poohcarrot switched back to mirror function, inspected his freshly shaved face, then stripped and stepped into the micro wave shower. After a 30 second blast of decontaminating, rose-scented waves, he slipped into his one piece black uniform and went downstairs to face Dot-C.
Dot-C was his pleasuretron. A fully functioning, lifelike female robot, tailor-made to his specific requirements, with cascading blond hair, breasts like watermelons and a 25 bit pixel outer skin that continually showed a kaleidoscope of day-glo primary colours. The only problem was she had been malfunctioning recently.
"Morning Dot-C"
"And what time did you get on last night?"
"No idea! I don't even remember how I got home."
"Well, it's simply not good enough, you know. And where did you go? Who were you with? If you were with another woman I'll chop your knob off."
"Dot-C, sweetheart, I..."
"Don't you sweetheart me, you louse!"
"Look! I was drinking with a couple of other Time Cops, Captain Sjoerd and Captain Wee Dug, if you must know, but frankly it's absolutely none of your business."
"You shouldn't hang out with those loses. They're bad news."
"I'll hang out with whoever I want, thank you very much."
"Don't you take that tone with me!"
"Oh sod this! I'm off to work."
"And what time will you be back? You'd better not be late again or you'll get no sex for a month."
*John Lennon wrote a book in the year 2012, that was such a masterpiece that it spawned a religion. The religion was so popular that belief in all religions slowly dwindled until eventually there was only one world religion - Lennonism,
