bestest film for christmas

[chris.ph]

weve had the proper chrimbo film thread now the pointless but enjoyable ones, mine are the typical ones zulu and escape to victory. wot i would like to see is the human centipede on bbc1 just after the queens speech but i dont think that will happen . i bloody hate the wizard of oz and charlie and the chocolate factory as dwarfs are my equivalent to tonies clowns

 

[DaveC]

wot i would like to see is the human centipede on bbc1 just after the queens speech but i dont think that will happen

 

[pip]

Mine was always Oliver! wasn't Christmas without it. Could definitley see The Human Centipede as a Post xmas dinner film

 

[Quatermass]

This ain't a funny joke.

Seriously, I'd sooner act out Spider Jerusalem's "I killed Santa Claus" rant live on TV than have The Human Centipede on at Christmas, or indeed on TV anywhere.

 

[SpideyGirl]

This ain't a funny joke.

Seriously, I'd sooner act out Spider Jerusalem's "I killed Santa Claus" rant live on TV than have The Human Centipede on at Christmas, or indeed on TV anywhere.

I'm with you on that one Q :clap:

 

[Quatermass]

This ain't a funny joke.

Seriously, I'd sooner act out Spider Jerusalem's "I killed Santa Claus" rant live on TV than have The Human Centipede on at Christmas, or indeed on TV anywhere.

I'm with you on that one Q :clap:

Well, can I act out Spider Jerusalem's "I killed Santa Claus" rant? I only just read the fourth volume of Transmetropolitan today.

 

[SpideyGirl]

Knock yourself out? ;0) I have no idea what Spider Jerusalem's "I killed Santa Claus" rant is lol

 

[Quatermass]

Knock yourself out? ;0) I have no idea what Spider Jerusalem's "I killed Santa Claus" rant is lol

He's an opinionated crusading journalist of the future from the graphic novel series Transmetropolitan. If you can stand a very weird and dark future, and some pretty gory sequences, it's a very well-written series.

Anyway, here's the speech given by Spider in response to a persistent interviewer asking him if he has any Christmas/Hannukah/Drink-My-Urine Day (it's THAT sort of future) plans...

No family. No girlfriend. No friends. No love. No hope. No point. And SANTA CLAUS IS DEAD! I KILLED HIM! I KILLED HIM WITH THIS! (clutches groin) And I left his stinking corpse in an underground cavern where it is raped by hundreds of toxic-efluent-crazed gila monsters every second of every DAY!

He's not exactly the nicest of people. And he's the hero of the series.

He has much better things to say about winter rather than Christmas, though.

BTW, Tony, if you think that stuff was too strong for the board, feel free to edit it out.

 

[chris.ph]

wot did i say to you months ago you freak, if you cant see its a joke dont answer

 

[Jan Van Quirm]

Haven't seen Human Centipede myself so I can't comment on it's relative naffness but this is a fun thread surely not one for virulent and cut-throat hatchet jobs? Let's have some festive cheer and goodwill to all great big turkeys stuffed or otherwise and not get too nassssty with our critique whether it's displaying a sense of humour or not hmmm? :hand:

(smileys are our friends too people - use them to show you're joshing and take the sting out as not everyone will realise? :dance: )

Having said that I :romance-heartbeating: the classic Wizard of Oz to bits ever since it's last cinema screening (it's just so brilliant on the big screen) so I always like to watch it on the TV at Xmas (no probs with 'little people' although apparently they harassed Judy Garland something chronic off-stage on the set )

Other things I like to see - well the LotR Trilogy is nice but I have that on DVD so it's not so special to Xmas - will be watching Mama Mia though!

 

[WannabeAngua]

Is The Human Centipede where people are chopped up and part of them stiched together?

 

[Jan Van Quirm]

The Human Centipede

Ick! Chris!!!!! rcs-censored:

 

[Quatermass]

wot did i say to you months ago you freak, if you cant see its a joke dont answer

But it's not a joke. Or rather, it's dead baby comedy. And I'm entitled to make my opinion known. :think:

And BTW, I'm not a freak, I'm an Absolute Bast***d. I had to annoy a lot of people to get that title.

Okay, so, you wanted festive cheer, JVQ? Well, here it is, again from Spider Jerusalem (I'd have him for my avatar, but we're going for the Christmas-themed avatars at the moment)...

The future is an inherently good thing, and we move into it one winter at a time. Things get better one winter at a time. So if you're going to celebrate something, then have a drink on this: the world is, generally and on balance, a better place to live this year than it was last year.

 

[Jan Van Quirm]

wot did i say to you months ago you freak, if you cant see its a joke dont answer

But it's not a joke. Or rather, it's dead baby comedy. And I'm entitled to make my opinion known. :think:

And BTW, I'm not a freak, I'm an Absolute Bast***d. I had to annoy a lot of people to get that title.

Okay, so, you wanted festive cheer, JVQ? Well, here it is, again from Spider Jerusalem (I'd have him for my avatar, but we're going for the Christmas-themed avatars at the moment)...

The future is an inherently good thing, and we move into it one winter at a time. Things get better one winter at a time. So if you're going to celebrate something, then have a drink on this: the world is, generally and on balance, a better place to live this year than it was last year.

Dead babies at Xmas are another thing entirely in the taste department don't you think?

Although thread digression is a traditional pursuit all the family can join in, before you start to gleefully stoke the def con levels Dr.Q, maybe you should pause to consider what happens when the needle you started wiggling around is stuck into somebody who has made herculean efforts not to lose his rag with you again when you reappeared on this board after your inaugural meteoric crash-dive earlier in the year? You don't like your buttons being pressed so return the favour huh. In the season of goodwill and all

And just to make this crystal clear, I wasn't going to post in this thread at all until I noticed your comment and chris's reaction. It may have been kneejerk, but it's honest and you may have noticed that he's kept well away from you in other threads because this is what he realises will happen if your swords get twisted. So we've had your opinion thanks. Twice now. Resist this particular tradition and avoid making a third time the charm and derailing this thread in the worst possible way.

And again to be absolutely clear - leave it alone now. Humour's a very strange thing and can be lost so easily don't you find? :angry-extinguishflame:

 

[Quatermass]

JVQ, I dunno whether you noticed, but I didn't hold a grudge against ChrisPH after what happened. Admittedly, it was my fault what happened back then, and in case you didn't notice, my last post before you began your sermonizing was designed to defuse the situation a little. I very nearly reacted a lot worse to being called a 'freak', but I restrained myself, even turned it into a joke which you missed entirely. And Spidey agreed with me on the taste of the thread.

But you will not jump in to sermonize at me every time I so much as put a foot wrong. I've restrained myself very well since the fiasco with Poohcarrot, I believe. You are not a moderator, nor will you ever be. You have no authority to rebuke me or censure me. And the more you do, the more likely I am to react badly. Think on that.


ChrisPH, I apologise sincerely for the intrusion. I haven't attacked you personally, just the taste of the thread. Can we settle this amicably? I will leave this thread alone if that is what you want.
:text-imsorry:

 

[Jan Van Quirm]

Well aware of how badly you can react Q which is why I wasn't going to get into a PM exchange with you which would normally have been my first instinct with anyone else. I did get the joke such as it was in fact but I'm not sure chris would have been laughing too much all the same.

For what it's worth I think chris may have overreacted to your first post and hopefully he'll notice you've taken on board what he said.

 

[Quatermass]

Well aware of how badly you can react Q which is why I wasn't going to get into a PM exchange with you which would normally have been my first instinct with anyone else. I did get the joke such as it was in fact but I'm not sure chris would have been laughing too much all the same.

For what it's worth I think chris may have overreacted to your first post and hopefully he'll notice you've taken on board what he said.

I sincerely hope so too. I'm trying hard to avoid a flame war.

Okay, just to get the thing back on topic, you know what would be a better Christmas film than The Human Centipede? The Shining.

Hear me out, please. It's got all the ingredients of a wonderful Christmas film!

10 Reasons Why The Shining Is A Christmas Film...

1. It's set during the winter in a cosy building.

2. It's got a family that needs to learn the virtues of being together.

3. Jack Nicholson is in it, which makes it doubly Christmassy (Jack= Jack Frost, Nicholson= St Nick).

4. There's a snowman at the end.

5. There's celebration and festivity and a lot of alcohol.

6. There's children in it!

7. Ghosts. Part of Christmas story tradition since at least 1843.

8. The dangers of cabin fever and ill-preparedness for winter are shown.

9. There's a lot of red in it, and red is the colour of Hogsw- ahem, Christmas.

10. And it has families breaking under the strain, a homicidal maniac wielding an axe, lotsa blood, and "HEEEEERE'S JOHNNY!" So of course it's like Christmas at home.

 

[DaveC]

 

[fids]

I watched the Fifth Element today and I think that could be a good Christams film with its bigga badda boom's and chickens.

Yippy kai aye Die Hard for after tea.

You'll be hard pressed to beat Shrek for a bit of light after dinner sit back and enjoyness either. A flying talking donkey, can't make that stuff up.

 

[Who's Wee Dug]

My favorite Bruce Willis film that is. :dance: