Favourite one liners

Welcome to the Sir Terry Pratchett Forums
Register here for the Sir Terry Pratchett forum and message boards.
Sign up

meerkat

Sergeant-at-Arms
Jan 16, 2010
9,413
2,800
68
Pocklington East Riding Yorkshire
Groucho Marx Quotes :

1. Room service? Send up a larger room.
2. I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.
3. I didn't like the play, but then I saw it under adverse conditions - the curtain was up.
4. The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his chequebook open.
5. Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.
6. He may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot, but don't let that fool you. He really is an idiot.
7. Look, if you don't like my parties, you can leave in a huff. If that's too soon, leave in a minute and a huff. If you can't find that, you can leave in a taxi.
8. How do you feel about women's rights? I like either side of them.
9. From the moment I picked your book up until I put it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.
10. I don't have a photograph, but you can have my footprints. They're upstairs in my socks.

:clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap:
 
Nov 26, 2011
638
2,425
57
Below Sealevel.
Groucho had some great classic lines. :clap:

Some more...

'You stuck your finger in my bullithole." :laugh:

From Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid(11.30).

From the same movie:

"I pity the devil the day you boys start arriving in bunches." :mrgreen:

From little Shop of Horrors :
"I think i need a rootcanal,i'm sure i need a long,slow rootcanal."
("I have a history of dental problems".
"Shut up!"
"Yes,doctor." :laugh: )
 

meerkat

Sergeant-at-Arms
Jan 16, 2010
9,413
2,800
68
Pocklington East Riding Yorkshire
From: Carry On Up the Khyber

Lady Rough-Diamond: Who's the turban ob on the throne?
Sir Sidney: You mean the Khazi.

Lady Rough-Diamond: "The wind seems a little strong tonight"
Sir Sidney: "Whose?"

At a superbly played piece of Polo...

Lady Rough-Diamond: Oh I say! 'e did not arf crack that one did 'e not?

Priceless! :clap:
 

Penfold

Sergeant-at-Arms
Dec 29, 2009
9,131
3,050
Worthing
www.lenbrookphotography.com
Sorry, you're quite right Willem; I got myself a bit mixed up with the quote. "Trust me, I'm a professional" is what I say after I've made a cock-up at work (in my defence, I've only had one cup of coffee this morning and I'm not quite awake yet). :laugh:
 
Apr 29, 2009
11,929
2,525
London
From: A Town Called Eureka.

You really have to see it, but I can't for the life of me find anything on YouTube.

[ Deputy Jo Lupo runs out of the Sherrif's office bathroom shouting ]

Jo: It's gonna blow!

[ The toilet explodes, flying across the room ]

Sherrif Carter: What did you eat?
 

meerkat

Sergeant-at-Arms
Jan 16, 2010
9,413
2,800
68
Pocklington East Riding Yorkshire
*no spoilers!*

From A Masterly Murder by Susanna Gregory:

The unpopular master of Cambridge College (1353) has been found dead. The Michaelhouse College Poctor, Brother Michael, has sent for the Physician Matthew Bartholomew. The messenger, Cynric says to Matthew...

"Runham...he was found dead in his room this morning. Michael says if it was not murder, it should have been!"

I just see Brother Michaels view point.

Good book too ;) :laugh:
 

User Menu

Newsletter