Forum Writer of 2012 Competition

[poohcarrot]

All those British stores, but no f***ing Waterstones. Trust the builders of that damned mall not to have their priorities straight. :think:

Um...it's in Japan. Er...it's meant for Chinese, Koreans and Japanese. :dance:
Probably 99.99% of people going can't speak a word of English.
Much as I'd like them to, they're not going to stick a Waterstones in just for me.

And there's no Greasy Spoon heart-attack-inducing English fried breakfast/kebab shop either, The b*st*rds! :twisted:

 

[Quatermass]

All those British stores, but no f***ing Waterstones. Trust the builders of that damned mall not to have their priorities straight. :think:

Um...it's in Japan. Er...it's meant for Chinese, Koreans and Japanese. :dance:
Probably 99.99% of people going can't speak a word of English.
Much as I'd like them to, they're not going to stick a Waterstones in just for me.

Well, that's silly. They have Dymocks in Hong Kong, and they're bringing in all those UK brands into this mall thing. Why not a Waterstones, dammit?

And for that matter, why won't they bring Waterstones out here in Australia?!

 

[poohcarrot]

And for that matter, why won't they bring Waterstones out here in Australia?!

Probably for the same reason there isn't going to be one in the new Japanese mall - 99.99% of people there can't speak a word of proper English!

 

[Quatermass]

And for that matter, why won't they bring Waterstones out here in Australia?!

Probably for the same reason there isn't going to be one in the new Japanese mall - 99.99% of people there can't speak a word of proper English!

We speak English real good, ya Bluey bludger!

 

[poohcarrot]

And for that matter, why won't they bring Waterstones out here in Australia?!

Probably for the same reason there isn't going to be one in the new Japanese mall - 99.99% of people there can't speak a word of proper English!

We speak English real good, ya Bluey bludger!

:think: :think: わかりません!!

 

[poohcarrot]

48 THE INTERNET
(Increasing knowledge, expanding consciousness, empowering a new sense of oneness for all mankind)

I ain't got me no bird right now, but that's all gonna change cos of the Net. Mint, innit?

Ya know what chicks want? A well-hung bedroom stallion, loaded down with cash and bling, that's what!
So's I bought myself knob-enhancement cream, viagra, fake Rolex and Louis Vitton wallet.The chicks'll be wetting themselves!

I've spent a packet becoming a babe-magnet, but no worries. You gotta keep this secret, but I'm only helping a Nigerian prince with his money problems, ain't I? Just as soon as he sticks a whole bunch of wonga into my bank account, I'm sorted!
Innit!

 

[Quatermass]

We speak English real good, ya Bluey bludger!

:think: :think: わかりません!!

Too right you don't, ya shonky shirty dag. 'Kenoath, this is God's own English!

 

[poohcarrot]

Voting Update #2 & New Rule!

"Patience is a virtue,
Possess it if you can.
Seldom found in wimmin,
Never in a man!"

Even though the time limit to submit stories has not expired yet, there have been 5 people voting so far, ALL ARE MEN!

16 stories have qualified for the group stage so far. 4 stories remain tied in first place with two points.

New Rule

Anyone who has submitted two or more stories, may not submit anymore after 10:00pm Feb 10th.
Anyone who has only submitted one story may submit one more by Feb 14 10:00pm which will go straight into the group stage.
Anyone who has submitted zero stories may submit two by Feb 14 10:00pm which will go straight into the group stage.
Anyone who has submitted two stories but one was silly, (You know who you are ) may submit one more by Feb 14 10:00pm which will go straight into the group stage. :dance:

There have been 48 stories submitted so far, hopefully the number will be cut to 32 :ugeek:

 

[MongoGutman]

How come voting has started before all the entries are in?

 

[pip]

It was all men so probably a case of premature adjudication

 

[poohcarrot]

Blame Willem! He started it.

It makes no difference though, because this qualifying round is just to sort out the wheat from the chaff ie; those people who posted loads of stories will get their number of entries down-sized. It's basically picking the two stories you wrote that you like best, and hoping other people will like your others. :dance:

If everyone votes, then everyone will probably have either one or two of their stories in the group stage, unless they are bonkers.

 

[Willem]

Yup, once again, totally my bad. It's a compliment really, I was so excited to get things started...

As a precognitive penance, I only voted for one of my own messes

 

[poohcarrot]

AKB48 Go Mainstream!

This was AKB48's last single. Not an iota of bare flesh in sight, and a song which wasn't too bad.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fgESmgZ4ld8&ob=av2e

Compare that to "Heavy Rotation.......(which has had over 63 million hits )"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lkHlnWFn ... ure=relmfu

...or "Every day hairband"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vEVq_Bx7 ... re=related

They've sold out!

 

[MongoGutman]

Compare that to "Heavy Rotation.......(which has had over 63 million hits )"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lkHlnWFn ... ure=relmfu

I'm wracking my brains trying to figure out what could be the appeal of dozens of young girls having a pillow fight in lingerie to the tune of a cheesy pop song. Nope, coming up blank here... :think: maybe I oughta watch it again.

 

[poohcarrot]

VOTING UPDATE #3

So far 21 stories have qualified, 5 have 2 points and 1 has 3 points. :clap:

 

[Jan Van Quirm]

:angelic-little: helping hand for bewildered voters

Click HERE to get a Word document with all the entries without the other posts. If you have trouble getting that to work open the spoiler up for the full link (c/p it)

Spoiler

this is the actual link if you have trouble opening it -
http://www.lotrdreams.com/forum/uploads ... r2012.docx
I've put it in here as the document's on a forum that's not 'live' just now

As some cack-handed people have had difficulties getting the link working please bear in mind that this is opening a Word document, so it will either open it in Word (if you have it on your PC - or a compatible program) or in a browser window if you don't. It'll tell you it's opening something so if you get a 404 failure notice in your browser DON'T PANIC! - it's opening something else up

 

[MongoGutman]

Qualification Round Starts Feb 10 - Ends Feb 14 10:00 pm (UK time)
Anyone can vote. Select 4 stories. If you are a writer, you can only select two of your own stories (max).
All stories that receive zero votes will be eliminated.
Voting is secret by sending me a pm.
Any story submitted after Friday 10 will automatically go into the the following group stage, starting Feb 15.

Just one question - who's Max? What about the rest of us?

 

[poohcarrot]

Max is Min's elder brother.

Cheers to the beautiful Jano for putting up the stories so people don't have to wade through all the crappy jokes, the arguments, the tears and the scantily-clad Japanese wimmin to read them (See above comment! )

 

[Who's Wee Dug]

Bugger the stories Pooh just give us the scantily-clad Japanese wimmin.

 

[poohcarrot]

WWD! I'm disgusted in you!

(They're on the previous page) :dance: :dance: