Forum Writer of 2012 Competition

[poohcarrot]

Amazingly, here's the first non-Pooh entry already!!
And it's darn good!! :dance:

If the writer wants to supply me with a title, I'll add it. :dance: (edit: Just added a title - hope it's OK)

2 Internet Dating

I was late. He minded. We sat at our table.

God, I hate online dating. You could get a bronzed god or a pale skinny weirdo. Unlucky this time - fascinating eyes though.

“You’re not going to order any garlic, are you?” he asked.
“It’s our first date, I’m only having garlic if you are too!” I tittered flirtingly.
He stared at his cutlery. “Is this real silver?”
“I don’t know, it’s a posh restaurant, so probably.”
We ordered steak, mine medium, his rare. I had some wine.
He walked me home.
Can’t remember anything after that.

First dates suck.

 

[Jan Van Quirm]

How bizarre!

This thread is running simutaneously in the non Discworld books section.
I never posted it there. :snooty:

I've been back for a minute and already broken the forum.

Typical though!

The entry in BD is a link only - one of the mods must have moved it to the Non-Disc forum for a better 'fit' :character-beavisbutthead:
Sure you'll make it to Valentine's smartypants...?

 

[poohcarrot]

Here's the second none-Pooh entry and all I can say is Wow!

3 BANG

Rapidly expanding and cooling.
Phase transition.
Cosmic inflation.
Baryogenesis.
Expansion.
Attraction.
Formation.
Gas clouds, stars and Galaxies.

Protoplanetry Disk.
Accretion.
Atmospheric drag.
Planet.
Earth.

Prokaryotic
Archaea.
Bacteria.
Photosybthesis.
Oxygenation.
Metabolisation
Eucaryotic
Invertebrate
Vertebrate
Dinosaurs.
Mammels
Apes
Australopithecine
Homo
Erectus
Habilus
Neanerthalensis
Sapiens idalatu
Sapiens Sapiens

Tools
Hunting
Weapons
Agriculure
Society
Weapons
War
Weapons
Religion
Weapons
Science
Weapons
Industry
Weapons.
Technology.
Weapons.
Development of shiny buttons

Big shiny pretty red button. Small heavily evolved Homo Sapien.

Billions of years of formation. Billions of years of evolution. Thousands of years of advancement.

Uncontrollable urge to push the shiny button.

BANG

 

[chris.ph]

nice to see you back for a bit matey, dont look at me as i cant string 100 words together without adding a few expletives

 

[SimStars13]

Are we only allowed to submit more than one? Trying to think of some good ideas

 

[poohcarrot]

4 Reminisc(r)ing

I had a ring, once.



I’m not one for jewellery in general but this was an heirloom.

It didn’t have any gems in it or anything. It was just a plain, simple golden ring. Yet, it was… precious to me.




I carried it around with me everywhere I went.

I lost it somewhere. Long ago, far away from here.

I told the insurance company I was robbed. Bloodied myself up a bit to make it look convincing. That’s how I paid for the cruise that got me here.


You want another banananana daiquiri? No? Fine.

 

[poohcarrot]

Are we only allowed to submit more than one? Trying to think of some good ideas

You can submit as many as you like. :dance:

 

[poohcarrot]

5 FIRST CONTACT BETWEEN THE PRESIDENT OF THE INTERGALACTIC FEDERATION OF PLANETS AND EARTH
(LINGUA FRANCA)

hi earthlings
u recently crossed the techno threshold 2 join IFP, but u worry us!
imho ur 2 nutz 2 join lol!
ur nuclear but use it 2 make bmbs!
u only care about $$!
ur destroying your wrld wiv wars, pollutn + overpopulatn!
iirc, 2,000 yrs ago u nailed our peace envoy 2 a X ffs!!
despite overwhelming evidence u STILL believe god made your wrld 6,000 yrs ago! rotflol
sorry 2 say earthlings, but not this time
fwiw, here's some advice foc;
B NICE 2 EACH OTHER!
cu in another 2,000 yrs - if u still exist!
ttfn
President

 

[Quatermass]

...


What.

And I thought it was bad enough when I had a flick through iDrakula yesterday...

 

[Jan Van Quirm]

Do something better and PM it to pooh then Q

(PS it really and truly wasn't me who did Frodo one :shifty: )

 

[Quatermass]

Do something better and PM it to pooh then Q

(PS it really and truly wasn't me who did Frodo one :shifty: )

The problem is, I don't write short stories, never mind those as short as this. :shifty: In fact, I'm like Charles Darwin. I work years on a single book, only to find out some other bugger has beaten me to the punch.

 

[stripy_tie]

Do something better and PM it to pooh then Q

(PS it really and truly wasn't me who did Frodo one :shifty: )

The problem is, I don't write short stories, never mind those as short as this. :shifty: In fact, I'm like Charles Darwin. I work years on a single book, only to find out some other bugger has beaten me to the punch.

But they're so much fun!

 

[poohcarrot]

6 Bedtime

The little girl climbed into bed, her father reassured her that he'd checked everywhere. She nodded, it wasn't his fault.

Everyone knows what a spider sounds like when it moves, the muted scuttle of many hairy legs across a wooden floorboard or behind an ancient bookcase, and yet, it never occurs to them to wonder how they know this.

House spiders are of course too small to make any noise audible to the human ear. These weren't house spiders, they weren't even really spiders.

She pulled the covers over her head as he turned out the light, the scurrying began.

 

[poohcarrot]

7 A Trick

What are we but memories?
Of conker games and growing pains,
Of climbing trees and skinning knees,
Of joyous laughs and broken hearts,
Of bridges burned and lessons learned,
Of punctured pride on the losing side,
Of wagers made on games we’ve played
Of drunken brawls and jeers of fools,
Of races run and triumphs won,
Of what we’ve said and what we’ve read,
Of traps we’ve sprung by what we’ve done?
And as you read these words I’ve writ
Have you fallen for my trick?
For if indeed these words are true
They have become a part of you.

 

[poohcarrot]

8 The Deer

The deer walks softly through the woods.
Aware of her surroundings, fully.
She isn’t in the best of moods,
Which is an understatement, truly.

For hunters took her fawn away.

She’d run at their smell
The smell of danger
The fawn had run as well
But hadn’t made it.
The smell was unfamiliar
The noises even stranger
And now with every passing day
The memory faded.

Hunters took her fawn away.

Soon she’ll have forgotten him
Sure as rain, sure as the moon shines
But for now we see her thusly
Pining among the pines

For hunters took her fawn.

 

[deldaisy]

My Gods! So many entries already and so many SO good! How on earth is this going to be judged!!!!!!

Short stories are an ARTFORM! There are many writers who do nothing BUT short stories. I know... I used to collect them. And some major writers are foul at doing short stories.

Its not easy to set a tone, set the characters, set the plot and complete a story in 100 words. Credit to all that have done it!

Loving this thread. You know; collections of short stories are a major book sellers.......

 

[poohcarrot]

My Gods! So many entries already and so many SO good! How on earth is this going to be judged!!!!!!

Um...you are going to judge it Del. Along with everyone else on the forum.
(Pretty sure I wrote that in the intro....but let me just go and check........won't be a tick......yep, certainly did. :dance: )

 

[poohcarrot]

9 100° UNIVERSAL ANNIVERSARY TRIBUTE

She's asleep, he's walking towards her, the soundtrack is terryfying, God I'm scared... then he kisses her gently... what? ... her hair is wet,she screams, now he's running... someone's shooting... he raises his sword.. how odd... he's hanging from a tower clock,his hair looks really weird now... he's not alone, but a wall falls on them... why is she talking to a pillow now?... gosh that blond girl needs feeding, yet her arms are incredibly strong... this is so weird...
"Danny, stop changing channels behind your sister's back! You can't watch them all at once, so just pick one!"

 

[poohcarrot]

nice to see you back for a bit matey, dont look at me as i cant string 100 words together without adding a few expletives

Course you f***ing can Chris.

 

[deldaisy]

My Gods! So many entries already and so many SO good! How on earth is this going to be judged!!!!!!

Um...you are going to judge it Del. Along with everyone else on the forum.
(Pretty sure I wrote that in the intro....but let me just go and check........won't be a tick......yep, certainly did. :dance: )

Nope... not me.... I like too many of them already to chose favourites.

I shall just enjoy the stories.