Quarter Finals - Writer of the Year
- Thread starter poohcarrot
- Start date
MATCH A
1 The Slayer
The future is not quite what I hoped it would be. Men in grey coats watch our every move, while the great leader tries to rule our every thought. It´s not easy to get a gun in this supposedly crime free society. It’s not impossible either.
I’ve had enough of it all. No I’m not going to shoot myself, it’s the great leader I’m going to kill. My name while be remembered as Thomas the Tyrantslayer.
I thought things went well, but now I’m on death row and will be forever known as Thomas the Undersecretary for Foreign Affairs slayer.
2 The Fourth Crusade
There was a crusade the fourth of its kind. It reached Venice after quite some time. The Venetians were willing to ship the crusaders to the Holy Land, for a small fee. Alas the crusaders were down on their luck.
No worries, said the Venetians, you can do us a favour. Constantinople that great city is being a pain in the neck. Capture it and we will be in your debt.
But the Byzantines are good Christians! We only fight the unbelievers!
No worries the Byzantines are excommunicated by the pope!
Well…
Think of the riches!
Which way is Constantinople?
1 The Slayer
The future is not quite what I hoped it would be. Men in grey coats watch our every move, while the great leader tries to rule our every thought. It´s not easy to get a gun in this supposedly crime free society. It’s not impossible either.
I’ve had enough of it all. No I’m not going to shoot myself, it’s the great leader I’m going to kill. My name while be remembered as Thomas the Tyrantslayer.
I thought things went well, but now I’m on death row and will be forever known as Thomas the Undersecretary for Foreign Affairs slayer.
2 The Fourth Crusade
There was a crusade the fourth of its kind. It reached Venice after quite some time. The Venetians were willing to ship the crusaders to the Holy Land, for a small fee. Alas the crusaders were down on their luck.
No worries, said the Venetians, you can do us a favour. Constantinople that great city is being a pain in the neck. Capture it and we will be in your debt.
But the Byzantines are good Christians! We only fight the unbelievers!
No worries the Byzantines are excommunicated by the pope!
Well…
Think of the riches!
Which way is Constantinople?
MATCH B
1 Modern Romance
‘Shall I compare Thee …’
‘Whatcha doing? You know I don’t understand Shakespeare?’
‘I’m just being romantic! How about a fragrant rose?’
‘What! D’you mean thorny?’
‘NO! Um, The warmth of the Sun …’
‘Gives you cancer? Burns you to a crisp? You’re not great at this, are yer?’
‘Sorry! … The twinkling of a star!’
‘What about it - exactly?’
‘Um. Lighting up darkness just by being there? ….’
‘Nah! Anyone can light up darkness! That’s what lighters are for!’
‘How about … a McDonalds! Loads of variety and enjoyment!’
She smiled. ‘You say the nicest things!'
2 Untitled II
Could you tell me please, the rules
To understand the minds of fools?
I fear that I am at a loss
With people who don't care a toss!
And though I try to understand
All people - From whatever Land,
I cannot fathom the minds of men
Who'll make the rules - and then break them!
Or further still who will change their mind
Just on a whim! - and you will find -
The rules that seemed to be set in stone
Are actually on a bed of loam!
And though you try to follow rules
You cannot - in a land of fools!
1 Modern Romance
‘Shall I compare Thee …’
‘Whatcha doing? You know I don’t understand Shakespeare?’
‘I’m just being romantic! How about a fragrant rose?’
‘What! D’you mean thorny?’
‘NO! Um, The warmth of the Sun …’
‘Gives you cancer? Burns you to a crisp? You’re not great at this, are yer?’
‘Sorry! … The twinkling of a star!’
‘What about it - exactly?’
‘Um. Lighting up darkness just by being there? ….’
‘Nah! Anyone can light up darkness! That’s what lighters are for!’
‘How about … a McDonalds! Loads of variety and enjoyment!’
She smiled. ‘You say the nicest things!'
2 Untitled II
Could you tell me please, the rules
To understand the minds of fools?
I fear that I am at a loss
With people who don't care a toss!
And though I try to understand
All people - From whatever Land,
I cannot fathom the minds of men
Who'll make the rules - and then break them!
Or further still who will change their mind
Just on a whim! - and you will find -
The rules that seemed to be set in stone
Are actually on a bed of loam!
And though you try to follow rules
You cannot - in a land of fools!
MATCH C
1 Pip's Having a Baby!
Sleepless nights, parental fights,
The tiredness makes you snappy.
The footie's gone, no wine and song,
Your life now one big nappy.
And then they walk, then they talk
And call you mum and pappy.
They make you see, all kids' TV,
Like Scooby Doo and Scrappy.
And when they're sick, something just clicks,
You panic and act flappy.
And their first curse, there's nothing worse,
It makes you mad and whappy.
You moan and groan, when they want a phone
With all the trendy appy.
Your past is done, your race is run.
But.....I bet you're bloody happy!
2 The Stories Fade
He kept watch across the sea to where the undying lands were placed in saga and song.
The heroes were long gone , barely a memory rekindled around the fire.
But the return of the greatest was foretold , from the west across the sea, when the time was right and need the greatest.
The watcher watched and waited.
The day had come.
Alas the Christian bell turned the ancient swans to no more than the one gods dying slaves .
And all that returned was an old man, body and soul quickly turned to dust and dreams lost eternally.Gæð a wyrd swa hio.
1 Pip's Having a Baby!
Sleepless nights, parental fights,
The tiredness makes you snappy.
The footie's gone, no wine and song,
Your life now one big nappy.
And then they walk, then they talk
And call you mum and pappy.
They make you see, all kids' TV,
Like Scooby Doo and Scrappy.
And when they're sick, something just clicks,
You panic and act flappy.
And their first curse, there's nothing worse,
It makes you mad and whappy.
You moan and groan, when they want a phone
With all the trendy appy.
Your past is done, your race is run.
But.....I bet you're bloody happy!
2 The Stories Fade
He kept watch across the sea to where the undying lands were placed in saga and song.
The heroes were long gone , barely a memory rekindled around the fire.
But the return of the greatest was foretold , from the west across the sea, when the time was right and need the greatest.
The watcher watched and waited.
The day had come.
Alas the Christian bell turned the ancient swans to no more than the one gods dying slaves .
And all that returned was an old man, body and soul quickly turned to dust and dreams lost eternally.Gæð a wyrd swa hio.
MATCH D
1 Bedtime
The little girl climbed into bed, her father reassured her that he'd checked everywhere. She nodded, it wasn't his fault.
Everyone knows what a spider sounds like when it moves, the muted scuttle of many hairy legs across a wooden floorboard or behind an ancient bookcase, and yet, it never occurs to them to wonder how they know this.
House spiders are of course too small to make any noise audible to the human ear. These weren't house spiders, they weren't even really spiders.
She pulled the covers over her head as he turned out the light, the scurrying began.
2 MAKING HARD DECISIONS
-This is so difficult, you can't expect this of me. How can I choose only one of you?
-You said I was your true hero, said Aragorn
-yes, you are but
-I thought you had decided to protect the four lands with me, said Allanon
-And I intend to, but
-And I was your soulmate, said Raistlin
-Well, what I meant...
-You know, I have work to attend to, so if you would be so kind as to make a quick decision, said Vetinari
-This is ridiculous, I can't go through this any time I want to reread a book!
1 Bedtime
The little girl climbed into bed, her father reassured her that he'd checked everywhere. She nodded, it wasn't his fault.
Everyone knows what a spider sounds like when it moves, the muted scuttle of many hairy legs across a wooden floorboard or behind an ancient bookcase, and yet, it never occurs to them to wonder how they know this.
House spiders are of course too small to make any noise audible to the human ear. These weren't house spiders, they weren't even really spiders.
She pulled the covers over her head as he turned out the light, the scurrying began.
2 MAKING HARD DECISIONS
-This is so difficult, you can't expect this of me. How can I choose only one of you?
-You said I was your true hero, said Aragorn
-yes, you are but
-I thought you had decided to protect the four lands with me, said Allanon
-And I intend to, but
-And I was your soulmate, said Raistlin
-Well, what I meant...
-You know, I have work to attend to, so if you would be so kind as to make a quick decision, said Vetinari
-This is ridiculous, I can't go through this any time I want to reread a book!
