The Amazing Adventures Of Captain Pooh Carrot

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poohcarrot

Sergeant-at-Arms
Sep 13, 2009
8,317
2,300
NOT The land of the risen Son!!
At the North Pole, for some months of the year the sun doesn't rise so it's permanent night. However, there ARE stars and the moon so you can see.

The Bible said:
3 And God said, "Let there be light," and there was light. 4 God saw that the light was good, and He separated the light from the darkness. 5 God called the light "day," and the darkness he called "night." And there was evening, and there was morning—the first day.
What light? Where did this light come from? How could you have day and night if there was no sun? Surely the first thing to be created should have been the sun? Or would that have meant that the earth was not the centre of the universe as was once thought?

If there were no sun, moon and stars, there wouldn't have been any light whatsoever.
 

Jan Van Quirm

Sergeant-at-Arms
Nov 7, 2008
8,524
2,800
Dunheved, Kernow
www.janhawke.me.uk
Maybe it was cloudy on days 1 - 3 as a result of all those waters everywhere ;)

I've said this before somewhere - as metaphor and taking out the truly silly bits about doing it all in a week, the biblical account of creation does largely follow a simplistic (very) evolutionary path in the way that you'd explain to to children (or substitute an impressionable pre-literate society of you like). :laugh:

Evolution tells us that there was no true 'life' on earth until it was well into the four billion years of existence and taking into account things like pandemic and virulent vulcanism you would get light and you would get stupendous condensation with 'greenhouse' gases therefore you would get light and dark under super-thick cloud cover, which anyway no sentient being could witness? Even if they had, it's highly unlikely there'd be any definitive sightings of sun or moon for some time. ;)

So within that overview and taking things with a very large pinch of salts its a crude but understandable account of how the world works - the bits about the seasons etc are the clue to that, because the middle east, like Egypt, was not all desert in the time that Genesis was assembled - they were successful farmers and they did have planting and growing seasons that the Sumerian and Assyrian priests would calculate rather than pray for (that's just for show)

However much you want to criticise the Bible, read with an open and informed mind it's fascinating as a teaching tool that, in some places was in existence orally long before man learned to write. I'm the first to say the OT's not great on humanitarian issues but in parables like Genesis and read intelligently it's a fascinating insight into how human beings manipulated and explained their own evolutionary path once the Ice Age had receded enough. Then they could stop merely surviving and start to observe and to harness their lands and rise above hunter/gatherer status and really start to mature socially courtesy of agriculture - the plough was a far more useful tool than the wheel for a long, long time after all! ;)
 

poohcarrot

Sergeant-at-Arms
Sep 13, 2009
8,317
2,300
NOT The land of the risen Son!!
If anyone thinks that this is just an atheist's tirade against christianity, it isn't. It's actually pro the message and teachings of Jesus.

Here is the rest of the book with, as promised, more twists and turns than a twisty turny thing,

PC survives week 3 on Repent or die.
PC doesn't survive week 4 and is stoned to death.
But the man wearing PC's clothes and the white hood, who is tied to a post and then stoned, isn't PC.

Brother Sjoerd is a robot and wanted PC to appear on Repent or die because he is obeying Asimov's Zeroth law (4th law of robotics);

"A robot may not harm humanity, or, by inaction, allow humanity to come to harm."

A world full of people who believe the Earth was created especially for them by God, also believe that everything that happens is God's Will, and believe that if they damage the environment too badly, God will save them. Brother Sjoerd knows this isn't true and is acting on behalf of humanity to save the Earth from eco-disaster and thus save them.

Sjoerd admits PC's arguments were crap, because PC had only read the Bible for a month, and Sjoerd even had to rig the voting to make sure PC survived. Like Batty was the "alleged" quantum butterfly" on 1978 Earth, so too was PC the "quantum butterfly" in the Creationists world.
Nobody believed a word PC said on Repent or die, but his appearance was the flap of the butterfly wing, that will eventually bring the downfall of Creationism and capitalism, enabling Sjoerd's world to survive.

Humans obviously can't communicate with parallel worlds, but robots can. Dot-C and Sjoerd hatched the whole plan, because they are both programmed to help ALL humnaity on EVERY parallel world.

Dot-C and PC go back to their own world where PC learns that Tony Black is also a robot. The only parallel worlds that will survive are those where a robot is in control, because humans don't have the ability to govern themselves properly.

And the final kicker!

Tony Black tells PC that this isn't the first time robots have gone back in time to save the world.
2000 years ago mankind was in need of some guidance otherwise it wouldn't have survived. A robot was sent back in time to preach about love and peace. The robot's name was Jesus-C, which explains how the robot could "die" on the cross and come back to life, how it could walk on water (jet propulsion in the feet) etc etc. The only problem with humans is that they forget the message and start worshiping the creed.

Finally, PC asks Dot-C to marry him, and she says no!
 

Dotsie

Sergeant-at-Arms
Jul 28, 2008
9,069
2,850
I'm a hero! I love it :laugh:

As for the number of animal species, does this take into acount the insect world? That must really push the numbers up (and they can't all fly). And how come plesiosaurs and icthyosaurs are extinct, if they could swim?
 

Dotsie

Sergeant-at-Arms
Jul 28, 2008
9,069
2,850
You are of course right that fish can die when it floods. As well as silt and general bashing about, an influx of fresh water into the ocean would kill off plenty. But since the bible makes no mention of putting fish tanks on the ark, I was assuming no-one had considered this. I'm playing pooh's advocate here ;) The flood story has more holes in it than the wall behind the dart board in the undergrad common room, I'm just seeing how many we can come up with.
 

Jan Van Quirm

Sergeant-at-Arms
Nov 7, 2008
8,524
2,800
Dunheved, Kernow
www.janhawke.me.uk
Of course - :laugh: it's yet another apocryphal fable and you just substitute the late Devonian extinction or some other evolutionary disaster that explains it far better (although the Devonian only accounts for species like ammonites etc and dinosaurs were still millennia away ;) ).

As for insects - have you read Julian Barnes's story (History of the World in 10 and a half chapters) about the successful legal defence of the woodworm against a local bishop in an ecclesiastical court - he fell off a woodworm-ridden chair :p Anyway - they got off on the grounds that they must have been on the Ark and so were a species approved of by god since they very kindly didn't sink it by chomping on the gopherwood! ;)
 

Tonyblack

Super Moderator
City Watch
Jul 25, 2008
30,999
3,650
Cardiff, Wales
I've been trying to think what this story reminded me of. I thought for a while it was 'The Running Man' - and to a degree there's that aspect - but it was something more than that.

Then it came to me that the questioning of the Book of Genesis is reminiscent of the movie 'Inherit the Wind' based on the Scopes Trial.

See this clip of the movie with Spencer Tracy cross-examining the religious fundamentalist prosecutor. It's great stuff! :laugh:
 

Jan Van Quirm

Sergeant-at-Arms
Nov 7, 2008
8,524
2,800
Dunheved, Kernow
www.janhawke.me.uk
An excellent film and all the better for having Darren #1 from Bewitched as the schoolteacher accused :laugh: . Spencer Tracy was such a great actor - he could do everything and all without being 'good-looking' just the power of his voice and his smile and he could do rom-com and serious drama or scathing satire and make you believe it - wonderful bloke.
 

Dotsie

Sergeant-at-Arms
Jul 28, 2008
9,069
2,850
Tonyblack said:
Then it came to me that the questioning of the Book of Genesis is reminiscent of the movie 'Inherit the Wind' based on the Scopes Trial.

See this clip of the movie with Spencer Tracy cross-examining the religious fundamentalist prosecutor. It's great stuff! :laugh:
Which is just what I thought when I saw the clip on Rich Hall's The Dirty South. Did you catch it on iplayer, or is that just a remarkable coincidence?

Good luck to Sharlene as well - she will be faster, stronger, better ;)
 

Tonyblack

Super Moderator
City Watch
Jul 25, 2008
30,999
3,650
Cardiff, Wales
Dotsie said:
Tonyblack said:
Then it came to me that the questioning of the Book of Genesis is reminiscent of the movie 'Inherit the Wind' based on the Scopes Trial.

See this clip of the movie with Spencer Tracy cross-examining the religious fundamentalist prosecutor. It's great stuff! :laugh:
Which is just what I thought when I saw the clip on Rich Hall's The Dirty South. Did you catch it on iplayer, or is that just a remarkable coincidence?

Good luck to Sharlene as well - she will be faster, stronger, better ;)
I saw it on iPlayer - but we watched the movie fairly recently and that jogged my memory. ;)

Pooh - I don't have a problem with a long post. I think there's only really a problem if it's a lot of photos and someone is on dial-up. ;)
 

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