The Amazing Adventures Of Captain Pooh Carrot
- Thread starter poohcarrot
- Start date
Jan Van Quirm said:
Didn't know if you wanted comments in the other thread? Anyway - well done. Reading v. well indeed.
Jesus is a brunette again I see 
Good decision on balance if you were going in the direction I thought you were 
Is your spellcheck/edit facility still down? There's loads of typos in there
Good decision on balance if you were going in the direction I thought you were Is your spellcheck/edit facility still down? There's loads of typos in there
His hair changed colour because the direction I was going to go in suddenly changed dramatically and it was important to have brown hair.
I haven't used a spell checker. How many loads of typos are there? How many words are there? I'm sure there's an easy way to count them but I don't know what it is.
So I exaggerated
There are a few howlers though, which is actually a good thing as it means you're concentrating on the story not the mechanics.
If you can do a search in the processing package you're using then I can run a proper Word edit for you and just put the typos on here so you can pick 'em up that way?
There are a few howlers though, which is actually a good thing as it means you're concentrating on the story not the mechanics.
If you can do a search in the processing package you're using then I can run a proper Word edit for you and just put the typos on here so you can pick 'em up that way?
Judgment day
In the secure room, Pooh Carrot was hunched over a desk, surrounded by masses of paper covered with his scribblings. He was engrossed in the Bible, his copy looking like a yellow, spiky porcupine with all the post-its sticking out of it. To the casual observer it would have looked like Dot-C was just sitting on the sofa, legs crossed, staring into space, but this wasn't the case. Being a robot equipped with her own computer, she could wirelessly scan the god-net from anywhere. In frustration Pooh Carrot threw down his pink marker pen.
"Oh, this is impossible! How on earth can anyone believe this piffle? There are more holes in the plot than a Swiss cheese, the statistics are all shot to pieces, it says one thing on one page, then a few pages later completely contradicts itself. I lost count of the contradictions after forty nine. But I don't see how I'm going to get a third of the world's brainwashed sheep to vote me innocent, simply by saying that one person in the Bible wrote there were twelve generations between Abraham and David, while another person wrote there were thirteen. It's hardly a game-changer, and that's what I am desperately in need of right now."
"You're such a pessimist, Carrot! You aren't dead yet, you know."
"What am I meant to do?"
"Would you like my help?"
"Yes please, Dot-C, if you have so much as even one completely insane idea of how I can get out of this mess, I'd love to hear it."
"You said the magic word, "please", so I'll help you a little. Watch this and tell me what you see. It's a godtube video of your first appearance on "Repent or Die."
Dot-C stood up, turned round, then her eyes projected a godtube video onto the wall.
"Ooh! There's me still disguised as a hippy. By the way, if we ever get back to our world, I'm going to have a word or two with SW about that. A hippy in 1978! I ask you! Only ten years too late."
"Stop whining and keep watching......there! Do you see it?"
The video froze on the wall. It showed a holovision shot of the whole of the stage from the back of the auditorium, with Pooh Carrot centre stage.
"See what?"
"I'll zoom in for a close up."
"You've just zoomed in on that massive picture of Jesus hanging above the altar."
"Ooh, you're quick today, Carrot. Tell me about the picture, then."
"Well for starters, that picture is not of someone from the Middle east. Jesus should have black hair and dark skin coming from Bethlehem. It's a white caucasian male, probably because the places where Christianity really took off were in Western Europe and the US. So they made the picture look like one of their own race."
"Good! And...?"
"According to the Bible, Saint Paul said having long hair was an abomination, or some similar comment, so Jesus couldn't have had long hair. He also couldn't have had very outstanding facial features or have been very tall, because in the Garden of Gethsemane, Judas betrayed him with a kiss, the reason being the Roman Soldiers didn't know what he looked like. If he had looked like that, all Judas would have had to do is tell the Romans to arrest the bloke who looked like Johnny Depp, that famous actor from the last century, and Bob's your uncle. Because this is a myth-based cult based on superstition and illogic, the powers that be can palm off any old nonsensical claptrap and the brainwashed hordes will lap it up."
"Now watch as I zoom in on this bit."
"Dot-C, you've just zoomed in on me with that silly implanted long hair and itchy beard. I don't get it."
For a second or two Pooh Carrot looked puzzled, then,
"Bloody hell Dot-C! Are you thinking what I'm thinking?"
"I think that's highly unlikely, as you usually spend all day thinking about sex."
"But Jesus and me look practically the same. The likeness is uncanny. Are you insinuating that I should pretend to be Jesus?"
"I'm not insinuating anything, it was your idea."
"If I pretended to be Jesus, it wouldn't convince anyone, you know, unless I could perform a miracle or two. As I'm not Jesus, the chances of me managing to somehow pull off a believable miracle in front of three billion people are as remote as you suddenly flinging your arms around me, kissing me and telling me you love me."
Dot-C walked over to Pooh Carrot, flung her arms around him, and kissed him sensuously on the mouth. Then she whispered into his ear,
"I love you Carrot!,"
"Wow! Miracles do happen! Just a question, Dot-C, does anybody in this world know you're a robot?"
"Robots are not in general use here. Their religion has caused their scientific progress to slow down. It is even against their God's will to do stem-cell research, so they still have diseases that in our world were eradicated years ago."
"On the last programme I did say that Jesus' miracles were magic tricks, didn't I?"
"You certainly did, Carrot."
"Well, I've already thought up two miracles that I could perform, but I'll need your help."
"I only exist to serve, master."
"Oh don't get all servile on me now. Right! If I'm going to get hanged I might as well get hanged for a sheep as a lamb."
"Stoned, Carrot, stoned, not hanged. I believe hanging is less painful."
"Oh, shut up Dot-C!"
"Well, that's gratitude, I must say," said Dot-C smiling to herself, "By the way, you did know this next programme is jokingly named "Judgment Day", didn't you?"
"No, I didn't. But I'm sure you'll enlighten me as to the reasons why."
"Nobody has ever survived past day three."
"So "Judgment Day," is it? Well, I'll give them something to judge me about, you see if I don't!"
In the secure room, Pooh Carrot was hunched over a desk, surrounded by masses of paper covered with his scribblings. He was engrossed in the Bible, his copy looking like a yellow, spiky porcupine with all the post-its sticking out of it. To the casual observer it would have looked like Dot-C was just sitting on the sofa, legs crossed, staring into space, but this wasn't the case. Being a robot equipped with her own computer, she could wirelessly scan the god-net from anywhere. In frustration Pooh Carrot threw down his pink marker pen.
"Oh, this is impossible! How on earth can anyone believe this piffle? There are more holes in the plot than a Swiss cheese, the statistics are all shot to pieces, it says one thing on one page, then a few pages later completely contradicts itself. I lost count of the contradictions after forty nine. But I don't see how I'm going to get a third of the world's brainwashed sheep to vote me innocent, simply by saying that one person in the Bible wrote there were twelve generations between Abraham and David, while another person wrote there were thirteen. It's hardly a game-changer, and that's what I am desperately in need of right now."
"You're such a pessimist, Carrot! You aren't dead yet, you know."
"What am I meant to do?"
"Would you like my help?"
"Yes please, Dot-C, if you have so much as even one completely insane idea of how I can get out of this mess, I'd love to hear it."
"You said the magic word, "please", so I'll help you a little. Watch this and tell me what you see. It's a godtube video of your first appearance on "Repent or Die."
Dot-C stood up, turned round, then her eyes projected a godtube video onto the wall.
"Ooh! There's me still disguised as a hippy. By the way, if we ever get back to our world, I'm going to have a word or two with SW about that. A hippy in 1978! I ask you! Only ten years too late."
"Stop whining and keep watching......there! Do you see it?"
The video froze on the wall. It showed a holovision shot of the whole of the stage from the back of the auditorium, with Pooh Carrot centre stage.
"See what?"
"I'll zoom in for a close up."
"You've just zoomed in on that massive picture of Jesus hanging above the altar."
"Ooh, you're quick today, Carrot. Tell me about the picture, then."
"Well for starters, that picture is not of someone from the Middle east. Jesus should have black hair and dark skin coming from Bethlehem. It's a white caucasian male, probably because the places where Christianity really took off were in Western Europe and the US. So they made the picture look like one of their own race."
"Good! And...?"
"According to the Bible, Saint Paul said having long hair was an abomination, or some similar comment, so Jesus couldn't have had long hair. He also couldn't have had very outstanding facial features or have been very tall, because in the Garden of Gethsemane, Judas betrayed him with a kiss, the reason being the Roman Soldiers didn't know what he looked like. If he had looked like that, all Judas would have had to do is tell the Romans to arrest the bloke who looked like Johnny Depp, that famous actor from the last century, and Bob's your uncle. Because this is a myth-based cult based on superstition and illogic, the powers that be can palm off any old nonsensical claptrap and the brainwashed hordes will lap it up."
"Now watch as I zoom in on this bit."
"Dot-C, you've just zoomed in on me with that silly implanted long hair and itchy beard. I don't get it."
For a second or two Pooh Carrot looked puzzled, then,
"Bloody hell Dot-C! Are you thinking what I'm thinking?"
"I think that's highly unlikely, as you usually spend all day thinking about sex."
"But Jesus and me look practically the same. The likeness is uncanny. Are you insinuating that I should pretend to be Jesus?"
"I'm not insinuating anything, it was your idea."
"If I pretended to be Jesus, it wouldn't convince anyone, you know, unless I could perform a miracle or two. As I'm not Jesus, the chances of me managing to somehow pull off a believable miracle in front of three billion people are as remote as you suddenly flinging your arms around me, kissing me and telling me you love me."
Dot-C walked over to Pooh Carrot, flung her arms around him, and kissed him sensuously on the mouth. Then she whispered into his ear,
"I love you Carrot!,"
"Wow! Miracles do happen! Just a question, Dot-C, does anybody in this world know you're a robot?"
"Robots are not in general use here. Their religion has caused their scientific progress to slow down. It is even against their God's will to do stem-cell research, so they still have diseases that in our world were eradicated years ago."
"On the last programme I did say that Jesus' miracles were magic tricks, didn't I?"
"You certainly did, Carrot."
"Well, I've already thought up two miracles that I could perform, but I'll need your help."
"I only exist to serve, master."
"Oh don't get all servile on me now. Right! If I'm going to get hanged I might as well get hanged for a sheep as a lamb."
"Stoned, Carrot, stoned, not hanged. I believe hanging is less painful."
"Oh, shut up Dot-C!"
"Well, that's gratitude, I must say," said Dot-C smiling to herself, "By the way, you did know this next programme is jokingly named "Judgment Day", didn't you?"
"No, I didn't. But I'm sure you'll enlighten me as to the reasons why."
"Nobody has ever survived past day three."
"So "Judgment Day," is it? Well, I'll give them something to judge me about, you see if I don't!"
Paul's a tricksy bugger though
He was a Jew but also a reactionary Empire-hugger, Roman lover and toady and was a citizen of Rome. Therefore, yes he would have considered long-haired Jesus freaks as degenerate and anti-establishment. Before his conversion that is. He never saw or heard Jesus teach and, once converted, like most converts he was rabidly accepting of the creed preached by the apostles (as opposed to disciples who were not of Jesus' inner circle and first students). The nearest evidence we have on 'do's' in the century of Jesus' alleged birth and the following century is to look at portraits on the sarcophagi of the Coptic Christians, largely in Egypt but also in the eastern Med - their hair was not terribly long, but it was longer than the Romans wore theirs (the soldiers anyway) and they were clean-shaven or bearded. In other words we don't know for sure whether Jesus had hippy hair or a beard or not.
The Pharisees - the rabbi/political group in Judea (Paul is thought by some to have been part of the clan as they had much influence under the Roman governors), those who crossed over to join the Christians quickly came to domninate the upper hierarchies and their tradition was to be bearded certainly, and this was continued as they evolved into the orthodox eastern-empire priests. As the apostles did refer to Jesus as Rabbi and they were always on the move (and therefore not necessarily having barbers handy) it's a reasonable assumption to make that he wasn't a Roman-style hairdressers model most of the time.
Judgment Day - cont...
"Bring forth the Sinner! Bring forth the Sinner!"
The chorus of boos and jeers as Pooh Carrot emerged was almost deafening. Pooh Carrot looked at the audience, the vast majority of whom were wearing "Heathen Bastard" T-shirts emblazoned with his face. He theatrically bowed to them, causing the jeering to rise a few decibels in volume. He himself, had swapped his black T-shirt for a white one depicting a long haired, bearded face and inscribed below was the same legend, "Heathen Bastard." He was also carrying his Bible. After taking his seat in the Sinners' chair the cries of derision continued. It took several attempts by Brother Sjoerd to calm them, before a modicum of silence was reached.
"Sinner Carrot, I can't say it's a pleasure to welcome you back, because you are an odious human being and evil incarnate, and if anyone on this planet deserves to die, it's you, but we must adhere to the rules of the game and ensure God's justice is carried out."
"And I love you too, Bro."
"But first I'd just like to point out that wearing a T-shirt of our Lord and saviour, Jesus Christ, and calling him a "Heathen Bastard" is hardly going to win you many fans, and I for one, find that T-shirt an affront to decency."
"Come now Bro, I am just agreeing with the audience who believe falsely, that this person is a "Heathen Bastard," that's all."
"I can assure you that the audience do not regard that person as a "Heathen Bastard." Far from it, they love that person and believe whole heartedly that he is the Son of God."
"Are you sure?"
"Of course I am!"
"Well, this picture is actually taken from the first episode of this programme that I appeared on. It isn't a picture of Jesus, but a picture of me. You may recall that I looked like this when I first was thrust unwillingly into the limelight."
Brother Sjoerd took a closer look.
"You are right. I was mistaken."
"But were you? Who is to say that I am not the Son of God? The Bible predicts that Jesus will return one day. Maybe that time is now."
"Don't be so stupid!"
"I see that all the g-papers have been trying to find out all about me, but not one of them has come up with even one scrap of information as to where I come from. In fact nobody on this planet has any information about me at all. Don't you think that's a bit strange?"
"It's not impossible."
"I agree. But it's highly improbable in today's age of computers and the god-web, that somebody could live their whole life without leaving a trace anywhere."
"So, are you claiming to be the Son of God?"
"You just claimed I was. But I will leave that for God and others to decide. To help people make up their minds though, let me perform three small miracles."
"You're going to perform three miracles?"
"Yes."
"Now?"
"Yes."
"This I must see."
"And so you shall. Previously I stated that I had not read the Bible. Is this correct?"
"You did make that claim, yes."
"The reason I hadn't read the Bible is because I know what it all says. After all, I did help to write it."
"Oh, this is preposterous!"
"Well let's do a little experiment. You choose any verse, from any book of the Bible, Old or New Testament, and I will tell you what that verse says."
"You have no chance, Carrot. OK, the book of Nehemiah, chapter nine, verse seven."
"Oh, an easy one. "You are the Lord God, who chose Abram and brought him out of Ur of the Chaldeans and named him Abraham." Is that correct?"
"Give me your Bible. Um...I believe it is. Right, here's one from the New Testament, Corinthians two, chapter eleven, verse ten."
"How appropriate! "As surely as the truth of Christ is in me nobody in the regions of Achaia will stop this boasting of mine."
"You just have a good memory, that's all."
"Whatever you say, Bro."
"You said three miracles, show us the second."
"I'll need a member of the audience to help me, if that's OK. You choose any person, completely at random. Preferably someone who isn't going to try to rip my head off this time."
Brother Sjoerd pointed to one person, who was led onto the stage by the security guards. Pooh Carrot went up to him.
"Here is a Bible. Please hold it in your left hand. I want everyone to make sure that you are telling the truth. Now, I have some questions for you. Firstly, are you a Christian?"
"Yes, I am."
"Do you swear on the Bible that we have never met before?"
"Yes, I do."
"Is there any conceivable way I could know anything about you at all?"
"No, I don't see how that's possible."
"Do you agree that If I were Jesus, I'd be able to see into your heart and mind, and tell everyone watching your personal details, even though we've never met?"
"Jesus could probably do that, but you sure as hell couldn't. You're a mere prawn of Satan."
"I think you meant pawn, but never mind. Now let's see, shall we? Your name is Jan Van Quirm and you are fifty two years old. You are Dutch. You live in Groningen in the Netherlands. You are married to Michel and you have two children, both boys, aged nineteen and seventeen. You work for the Dutch railway as an engineer. Twenty five years ago you were arrested by the Police for drunk driving and were banned for a year. You have a degree in mechanical engineering from..."
"Stop! Stop! How do you know all that?"
"Do you swear on the Bible that I have just spoken the truth?"
"Yes, yes! I swear."
"Thank you. That is all. You may return to your seat now."
The crowd was buzzing as Mr Quirm first handed the Bible back then was led, ashen-faced, back to his seat.
To keep the momentum going, Pooh Carrot faced the audience and commanded them in a firm voice,
"Brothers and sisters. Let us pray."
Pooh Carrot knelt before the audience. After a moment's hesitation, the bemused audience got down on their knees too. Pooh Carrot closed his eyes.
"Dear Lord God, who sees all and hears the prayers of all who believe, we humbly beseech you to grant our request this day. In the Bible Mark states, "Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours." Matthew states, "If you believe, you will receive whatever you ask in prayer." Dear Lord God, we humbly beseech you now to heed or prayer. If Pooh Carrot is not your Son, if Pooh Carrot is not Jesus Christ returned to earth, then this very instant, please smite him with a thunderbolt."
Half opening one eye, Pooh Carrot scanned the audience. They were all concentrating hard and mouthing their words to God. After a minute of nothing happening, Pooh Carrot stood up.
"Amen!"
Brother Sjoerd was beside himself with rage.
"That was not a miracle!"
"If that was not a miracle, then there can only be three explanations. Firstly, in this audience of ten thousand people, there is not one person who is a true believer, so God didn't listen to their prayers. Secondly, the Bible is wrong and the two verses I quoted in the prayer are not true. Or thirdly, that I'm the Son of God, and God chose not to smite me for I have a mission to fulfill. Obviously if I'm not the Son of God returned, then it must have been a miracle, for I am still living and breathing."
"There is one other explanation that you failed to mention, Carrot."
"And that is?"
"That God chose not to kill you now, for he wants you to be stoned to death for your sins."
"To be stoned to death I have to receive 66.6% of the world vote. I promise you that today, God will not let that happen."
"Bring forth the Sinner! Bring forth the Sinner!"
The chorus of boos and jeers as Pooh Carrot emerged was almost deafening. Pooh Carrot looked at the audience, the vast majority of whom were wearing "Heathen Bastard" T-shirts emblazoned with his face. He theatrically bowed to them, causing the jeering to rise a few decibels in volume. He himself, had swapped his black T-shirt for a white one depicting a long haired, bearded face and inscribed below was the same legend, "Heathen Bastard." He was also carrying his Bible. After taking his seat in the Sinners' chair the cries of derision continued. It took several attempts by Brother Sjoerd to calm them, before a modicum of silence was reached.
"Sinner Carrot, I can't say it's a pleasure to welcome you back, because you are an odious human being and evil incarnate, and if anyone on this planet deserves to die, it's you, but we must adhere to the rules of the game and ensure God's justice is carried out."
"And I love you too, Bro."
"But first I'd just like to point out that wearing a T-shirt of our Lord and saviour, Jesus Christ, and calling him a "Heathen Bastard" is hardly going to win you many fans, and I for one, find that T-shirt an affront to decency."
"Come now Bro, I am just agreeing with the audience who believe falsely, that this person is a "Heathen Bastard," that's all."
"I can assure you that the audience do not regard that person as a "Heathen Bastard." Far from it, they love that person and believe whole heartedly that he is the Son of God."
"Are you sure?"
"Of course I am!"
"Well, this picture is actually taken from the first episode of this programme that I appeared on. It isn't a picture of Jesus, but a picture of me. You may recall that I looked like this when I first was thrust unwillingly into the limelight."
Brother Sjoerd took a closer look.
"You are right. I was mistaken."
"But were you? Who is to say that I am not the Son of God? The Bible predicts that Jesus will return one day. Maybe that time is now."
"Don't be so stupid!"
"I see that all the g-papers have been trying to find out all about me, but not one of them has come up with even one scrap of information as to where I come from. In fact nobody on this planet has any information about me at all. Don't you think that's a bit strange?"
"It's not impossible."
"I agree. But it's highly improbable in today's age of computers and the god-web, that somebody could live their whole life without leaving a trace anywhere."
"So, are you claiming to be the Son of God?"
"You just claimed I was. But I will leave that for God and others to decide. To help people make up their minds though, let me perform three small miracles."
"You're going to perform three miracles?"
"Yes."
"Now?"
"Yes."
"This I must see."
"And so you shall. Previously I stated that I had not read the Bible. Is this correct?"
"You did make that claim, yes."
"The reason I hadn't read the Bible is because I know what it all says. After all, I did help to write it."
"Oh, this is preposterous!"
"Well let's do a little experiment. You choose any verse, from any book of the Bible, Old or New Testament, and I will tell you what that verse says."
"You have no chance, Carrot. OK, the book of Nehemiah, chapter nine, verse seven."
"Oh, an easy one. "You are the Lord God, who chose Abram and brought him out of Ur of the Chaldeans and named him Abraham." Is that correct?"
"Give me your Bible. Um...I believe it is. Right, here's one from the New Testament, Corinthians two, chapter eleven, verse ten."
"How appropriate! "As surely as the truth of Christ is in me nobody in the regions of Achaia will stop this boasting of mine."
"You just have a good memory, that's all."
"Whatever you say, Bro."
"You said three miracles, show us the second."
"I'll need a member of the audience to help me, if that's OK. You choose any person, completely at random. Preferably someone who isn't going to try to rip my head off this time."
Brother Sjoerd pointed to one person, who was led onto the stage by the security guards. Pooh Carrot went up to him.
"Here is a Bible. Please hold it in your left hand. I want everyone to make sure that you are telling the truth. Now, I have some questions for you. Firstly, are you a Christian?"
"Yes, I am."
"Do you swear on the Bible that we have never met before?"
"Yes, I do."
"Is there any conceivable way I could know anything about you at all?"
"No, I don't see how that's possible."
"Do you agree that If I were Jesus, I'd be able to see into your heart and mind, and tell everyone watching your personal details, even though we've never met?"
"Jesus could probably do that, but you sure as hell couldn't. You're a mere prawn of Satan."
"I think you meant pawn, but never mind. Now let's see, shall we? Your name is Jan Van Quirm and you are fifty two years old. You are Dutch. You live in Groningen in the Netherlands. You are married to Michel and you have two children, both boys, aged nineteen and seventeen. You work for the Dutch railway as an engineer. Twenty five years ago you were arrested by the Police for drunk driving and were banned for a year. You have a degree in mechanical engineering from..."
"Stop! Stop! How do you know all that?"
"Do you swear on the Bible that I have just spoken the truth?"
"Yes, yes! I swear."
"Thank you. That is all. You may return to your seat now."
The crowd was buzzing as Mr Quirm first handed the Bible back then was led, ashen-faced, back to his seat.
To keep the momentum going, Pooh Carrot faced the audience and commanded them in a firm voice,
"Brothers and sisters. Let us pray."
Pooh Carrot knelt before the audience. After a moment's hesitation, the bemused audience got down on their knees too. Pooh Carrot closed his eyes.
"Dear Lord God, who sees all and hears the prayers of all who believe, we humbly beseech you to grant our request this day. In the Bible Mark states, "Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours." Matthew states, "If you believe, you will receive whatever you ask in prayer." Dear Lord God, we humbly beseech you now to heed or prayer. If Pooh Carrot is not your Son, if Pooh Carrot is not Jesus Christ returned to earth, then this very instant, please smite him with a thunderbolt."
Half opening one eye, Pooh Carrot scanned the audience. They were all concentrating hard and mouthing their words to God. After a minute of nothing happening, Pooh Carrot stood up.
"Amen!"
Brother Sjoerd was beside himself with rage.
"That was not a miracle!"
"If that was not a miracle, then there can only be three explanations. Firstly, in this audience of ten thousand people, there is not one person who is a true believer, so God didn't listen to their prayers. Secondly, the Bible is wrong and the two verses I quoted in the prayer are not true. Or thirdly, that I'm the Son of God, and God chose not to smite me for I have a mission to fulfill. Obviously if I'm not the Son of God returned, then it must have been a miracle, for I am still living and breathing."
"There is one other explanation that you failed to mention, Carrot."
"And that is?"
"That God chose not to kill you now, for he wants you to be stoned to death for your sins."
"To be stoned to death I have to receive 66.6% of the world vote. I promise you that today, God will not let that happen."
Wot? Turn me into a bloke and steal some of Bro Sjoerd's away from the keyboard stats? 
JVQ was Dot-C in disguise? You warped person you!
Or it's one of those psychic/medium tricks in 'random' selection and perhaps Dot-C managed to hack into ticket sales records and the planetary security/tax computers for his details at lightning speed and relayed the answer to PC by an undetectable mic in his ear?
PS would have been more impressed if you named my kids - also my partner appears to be male (should be michelle surely) unless the one true religion is far more tolerant and into in vitro fertilisation/surrogacy than they really ought to be in fundie environment?
JVQ was Dot-C in disguise? You warped person you!
Or it's one of those psychic/medium tricks in 'random' selection and perhaps Dot-C managed to hack into ticket sales records and the planetary security/tax computers for his details at lightning speed and relayed the answer to PC by an undetectable mic in his ear?
PS would have been more impressed if you named my kids -
also my partner appears to be male (should be michelle surely) unless the one true religion is far more tolerant and into in vitro fertilisation/surrogacy than they really ought to be in fundie environment? Half right. You remember Dot-C's skin was a kaleaidoscope of day-glo, well that's because her whole skin is a thin computer screen. She cut a bit off, stuck it to the Bible, and as soon Jan touched the Bible she had his fingerprints. Then all the hacking etc. At the start before he sets off Carrot has the mic/mole stuck in his ear and Dot-C gloats about 24/7 nagging potential - but you don't know that bit yet, coz it ain't been written.
I reckon the next bit has the potential to be good.
At the start before he sets off Carrot has the mic/mole stuck in his ear and Dot-C gloats about 24/7 nagging potential - but you don't know that bit yet, coz it ain't been written. I reckon the next bit has the potential to be good.
smartypants said:
Half right. You remember Dot-C's skin was a kaleaidoscope of day-glo, well that's because her whole skin is a thin computer screen. She cut a bit off, stuck it to the Bible, and as soon Jan touched the Bible she had his fingerprints. Then all the hacking etc. At the start before he sets off Carrot has the mic/mole stuck in his ear and Dot-C gloats about 24/7 nagging potential - but you don't know that bit yet, coz it ain't been written.
I reckon the next bit has the potential to be good.
At the start before he sets off Carrot has the mic/mole stuck in his ear and Dot-C gloats about 24/7 nagging potential - but you don't know that bit yet, coz it ain't been written. I reckon the next bit has the potential to be good.
Sjoerd said:
Very good Pooh but Jan and Michel are both Dutch names for boys
mC!
