Thief of Time question (not for the squeamish)

[kakaze]

lets have a competition , who has the most orifices bet i win

2 eyes
2 ears
2nostrils
1 old boy (male twinkle)
2 arseholes (1 is sticking out of my stomach)
2bellybuttons(when they sowed me back up they literally went straight back up hence 2)
1mouth

go on then beat that

If you're referring to your belly button, that would be a second gullet, not a second arse.

Now, if you're referring to a colostomy bag, that would be a different matter.... do you poop out of your paunch?

 

[raisindot]

It's more of an invagination (yes that is a real word - it means a narrow indentation) than an orifice. How deep does an invagination have to be before it's an orifice? And what about the GI tract, it goes all the way through so when does that stop being an orifice and start being a tube?

People are complicated, and that's a fact.

Is the crack between the cheeks an invagination?

J-I-B

 

[raisindot]

I invaginated my car when I hit a bus stop.

Well, better your car than yourself...

J-I-B

 

[Dotsie]

Is the crack between the cheeks an invagination?

J-I-B

Actually it's referred to as a "cleft".

 

[Who's Wee Dug]

Is the crack between the cheeks an invagination?

J-I-B

Actually it's referred to as a "cleft".

Is that the same as a hare one

 

[chris.ph]

lets have a competition , who has the most orifices bet i win

2 eyes
2 ears
2nostrils
1 old boy (male twinkle)
2 arseholes (1 is sticking out of my stomach)
2bellybuttons(when they sowed me back up they literally went straight back up hence 2)
1mouth

go on then beat that

If you're referring to your belly button, that would be a second gullet, not a second arse.

Now, if you're referring to a colostomy bag, that would be a different matter.... do you poop out of your paunch?

ive got an ileostomy not a colostomy same sort of thing different side

 

[raisindot]

Is the crack between the cheeks an invagination?

J-I-B

Actually it's referred to as a "cleft".

You Brits. You got a word for everything!

J-I-B

 

[Jan Van Quirm]

Only if it's 'rude' - gotta love euphemisms here

 

[Tonyblack]

I can't believe this subject has gone on for four pages.

 

[chris.ph]

i will put money on that it goes further as well, if you mention orifices anywhere it just goes on and on

 

[theoldlibrarian]

I just checked it out and apparently: ears, ear canals, eyes, sweat glands, anal, nipple, naval, urethra, va@@@a, mouth and sweat glands all count as bodily orifices. So that makes 15 orifices excluding all the pores.

 

[Jan Van Quirm]

But we have masses more than 1 sweat glands and the same for nipples (which are redundant in males... ) and skin really isn't an orifice as such - it's waterproof for a start (externally anyway) - that's just silly

Also the ear canal counts as a separate orifice to the ear? - twaddle! the Eustachian tube perhaps, but that's not an external opening so doesn't count - and anyway it's a tube - like the navel was...

This is silly - lets call it major 'working' orifices, admit eyes on that basis as they 'leak' bodily fluids and wash the eyeball and forget sweat/milk pores

 

[raisindot]

This is silly - lets call it major 'working' orifices, admit eyes on that basis as they 'leak' bodily fluids and wash the eyeball and forget sweat/milk pores

Agree with all but the eyes. Don't know what Wiki says, but common sense would stipulate that a bodily orifice SHOULD be something you can stick gently stick something into a little bit without actually damaging any surrounding or obstructing tissue or organs. Can't say that for eyes or nipples, regardless of what the punks and skinheads do with 'em. Yuck. Maybe the auditors had the right idea after all.



J-I-B

 

[raisindot]

I can't believe this subject has gone on for four pages.

I will do everything in my power to keep this going as long as possible. Sure as hell beats discussing "Pyramids."

[Ducking]



J-I-B

 

[raisindot]

va@@@a

If you're going to use explicitly smutty words like that, please warn those of us with sensitive temperaments.



J-I-B

 

[Jan Van Quirm]

Agree with all but the eyes. Don't know what Wiki says, but common sense would stipulate that a bodily orifice SHOULD be something you can stick gently stick something into a little bit without actually damaging any surrounding or obstructing tissue or organs. Can't say that for eyes or nipples, regardless of what the punks and skinheads do with 'em. Yuck. Maybe the auditors had the right idea after all.



J-I-B

It stuff that comes out as well as with the nose (runny stuff) and the mouth (spit and vomit) and most of the nether region orifices too (or both in and out in some cases, notably female twinkles - as in babies and other messy inconvenient stuff) :twisted:

Eyes stay in...

 

[raisindot]

It stuff that comes out as well as with the nose (runny stuff) and the mouth (spit and vomit) and most of the nether region orifices too (or both in and out in some cases, notably female twinkles - as in babies and other messy inconvenient stuff) :twisted:

Eyes stay in...

Agree that stuff coming out is definitely officially orificial in nature. But, given that you can't always RELY on something to come out of an orifice on demand (ummm, I can only speak for us menfolk, obviously), I submit that the :"stick something gently into it" test is rely the only reliable way to determine what an orifice. Now, if you can stick something in your eye without having an Oedipal reaction, I will give you the "eyes" as orifices.



J-I-B

 

[Jan Van Quirm]

Eye-drops - they are absorbed and clear infections. :twisted:

I had a blocked tear duct once and the eye-drops I was prescribed cleared it so it had to have been absorbed in some fashion

 

[Dotsie]

Eye-drops - they are absorbed and clear infections. :twisted:

I had a blocked tear duct once and the eye-drops I was prescribed cleared it so it had to have been absorbed in some fashion

No, the anitibiotic sits on the surface of the eye, which is where the bacteria are also found. If the bacteria were internalised you would eiher kill them or get septicaemia. So if the antibiotic got absorbed it wouldn't be where the bacteria were, and it wouldn't be much good, would it?

Chloramphenicol (the antibiotic in eyedrops) is very strong but also very toxic. This is why it is only used in eyedrops, because it isn't absorbed by the body.

 

[kakaze]

nipples (which are redundant in males... )

Shows what you know. I use mine on a regular basis.

Eye-drops - they are absorbed and clear infections. :twisted:

And my skin absorbs hand lotion & sunscreen, but it's an organ, not an orifice, as you pointed out earlier.

If we're using the "stuff comes out" basis to measure orificity, what about saliva glands, and whatever produces mucas in the sinases?

If it comes to that, technically, our gastro-intestinal tract is considered "exteral" surface (since it's a tube running through our body), so how about stomach-acid & bile glands?
















Is anyone else beginning to feel full of holes? I think I've just discovered a new phobia; perforatiophobia - the fear of being poked full of holes! Closely related to Trypanophobia.